As you might have heard Sony (not NBC, NBC doesn’t own the show*) fired Dan Harmon off Community, which means the end of Community as we know it and probably the start of some half-assed 9th Season of Scrubs-like fourth season at worst, and a “Eh, it’s enjoyable to hang out with these people, I guess, but remember the first three seasons, man?” fourth season. So, you’re probably rewatching the series, like I am, and pouring one out for the fallen leader. So, here’s the rules (shots can be fingers of your drink, also):

• Jeff Winger speech- If it fails, take a shot. If it succeeds, two shots/half your drink.
• Abed says “Cool/Cool. Cool cool cool.” or Abed refers to life being like a TV show-take a shot.
• Britta is the worst- take a shot. If someone outside the group calls Britta the worst, take two shots.
• Annie gasps in shock or Awwws something- take a shot. Two shots if it’s in conjunction with Shirley doing the same thing.
• Shirley uses her sexy voice/mentions Jesus- take a shot. If both, take two shots.
• Pierce comically misses the point- take a shot.**
• Donald Glover one liner or Troy mishears/mispronounces a word- take a shot.
• Dean in a costume- take a shot. (Don’t start with “Paradigms of Human Memory”)
• 1st season only: Chang abuses his teaching powers, take a shot. 2nd and 3rd season: Chang uses his name as a pun, take a shot. Anyone else uses Chang’s name as a pun, two shots.
• You spot a movie reference/TV Trope before it’s said by name- two shots. After it’s said- one shot.
• Shipping moments: Trobed, Jean, Anbed, Jetta, Brinnie, Abetta, Jennie, Broy- one shot. Jerley, Cherly, Shierce, Channie’s Boobs- 2 shots. Aang (either Abed/Chang or Annie/Chang)-3 shots.

*Although NBC wasn’t really all that worked up about it, with Bob Greenblatt saying, “[S]hows lose showrunners all the time.” It’s not their fault that Dan Harmon was fired, but it’s kind of their fault that they didn’t renew the show with a clause that he’d still be on as showrunner (because why renew it in the first place anyway?).

**I guess you could also add “Pierce says something racist/homophobic” but hey, it’s your liver.

1. 2–3 shots of 100% agave tequila.
2. Juice and pulp from one lime.
3. Stir, don’t shake, it all up and add some ice.
4. Top with soda water to taste.

It’s quite the manly marg, isn’t it? No, but really, try one. You’ll like it.

1. Watch NBC every Monday.
2. Make a large, alcoholic drink.
3. Drink every time your cringe.
4. Suddenly, once 10PM comes around, you’ll think Smash is AMAZING.

The best approach to ridding yourself of a hangover is certainly to not get one. You can accomplish this with a few pro-tips:

1. Eat healthy foods before you begin drinking.
2. Do the usual dance of alternating drinks with water. Order a water with every drink and don’t get another drink until the water is gone.
3. Before you go to bed, take a time-release B-Complex supplement.

If you forgot to do those things, you might wake up feeling rough. It’s cool, though, because I have you covered on this end of the hangover too. 

1. As soon as you can eat something, eat something.
2. Take your favorite pain reliever cocktail. I prefer Advil Cold and Sinus, because my main problem is that my allergies have decided to attack my now-dried up sinus cavities.
3. Remember those time release B vitamins? Take them right now.
4. Drink a ton of water. Coconut water is nice, too.
5. Speaking of water, you smell terrible. I would suggest you take a shower.
6. Get your intestines situated by either eating some yoghurt, drinking some kombucha, or taking some pro-biotic supplements. 
7. Memories will start to come back of the previous night. You’ll want to take care of this by drinking a little bit more booze. My favorite hangover drink is the classic bloody mary. It really helps easing the withdrawal symptoms you’re forcing your body through since you forgot to take it slow last night.
8. By this point, you’ve probably been awake for 2-3 hours. Take a nap, you deserve it.
9. Hopefully, the food, probiotics, and time have helped. This will lead to the final phase of any hangover: Hangover Poop. It’s the worst smelling poop—but, it marks the end of you body’s fight to rid itself of all that poison you shoved in it.

If you still have a hangover, only time will heal it. Place a trashcan next to your bed, open your laptop to Netflix, and cancel all of your appointments. 

On the other hand, this may have worked for you. I hope you celebrate by drinking a bottle of wine alone in your room while browsing Tumblr! This has never given me a hangover.*

Happy drinking!

*Only true when I stick to red wine with a relatively low sugar-content.

Today, we’re going to take a magical (imaginary) journey to the furthest corner of the world. Oooh, chilly. No, darling, it’s Chile!  But it is freezing here, so it works. We’re in Punta Arenas, Chile in the 12th district, also known as the Magallanic Region.

I know what you’re thinking: “WE PASSED THE WINE REGION! TURN AROUND, TURN AROUND!” It’s okay, sweetheart, we have some regional wines like Carmenére that are delicious and $4 a bottle. Also, it’s 2012. They do ship wines.  

Man, traveling is awesome. Nothing’s worse than eating Chick-fil-A, Zaxby’s, and Dairy Queen five times a week. Finally, we’re here, far away from American-style foods. We’re experiencing culture! This is how real people eat! These kind folks aren’t rushing from job to job or working 70 hours a week in order to “get ahead” financially. They eat all of their meals together at the table (how quaint!). The only fast food here is at the tiny mall’s food court, and even then it’s mostly ice cream shops. We’re going to come back so thin, you guys! 

—-

Meal 1:

• Un Completo: a hotdog with avocado, onions, and tomatoes. Also called un Italiano, because of the colors. 
• Rice
• Argentine beer

Thoughts:

• This is a typical Chilean food. That doesn’t seem right. 
• Maybe they’re trying to acclimate me. Grown-ups don’t eat hot dogs, do they? 
• These hot dogs are not Oscar Meyer’s by a long shot. They’re not even like New York hot dogs. I can’t tell what’s different, but they’re much saltier and almost tangier than their American counterparts. 
• The toppings are nice, though, and I never thought of putting any of them on a hot dog before. 
• B+

Meal 2:

• Pizzas! One with tomatoes, onions, black olives, and hot peppers, the other with chorizo, beef, hot dog slices, and corn. 
• Corn served with mayonaisse
• Diet Coke

Thoughts:

• Man, that’s one gringo-looking pizza. I wonder why we never thought of putting hot dogs on pizza.
• Oh, THAT’S why. 
• The vegetarian pizza was good.
• Corn with mayonnaise tastes exactly how you’d expect it to. I think it’s supposed to be like the poor man’s creamed corn.  
• Coca-Cola products here taste exactly the same as they do in the States, which I’ve never experienced before. They’ve always been drastically different.
• Vegetarian pizza: A- / Hot Dog-Corn Pizza: C- 

Meal 3:

• A stew made with spinach, black beans, pinto beans, shredded chicken, and hot dog pieces.

Thoughts:

• You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?
• After picking out las sanchichas: A

—-

Thanks for traveling with me! It was mostly fun. Sorry about the food. Next time, we’ll go to Italy or Peru!

Ingredients & Measurements:

• 1 cup ice
• ½ cup milk
• 2 tablespoons Nutella
• 1 shot Baileys
• 1 shot Vanilla Stoli

Instructions:

This one’s a blender recipe. That’s OK, though. Just toss everything in and blend until smooth. Done. Drink!

Also, I would suggest trying this one as a milk shake. It’s quite tasty that way. Just replace the milk and ice with a few scoops of ice cream. Mmm… yeah.

(via my Evernote notebook from forever ago.)

Lit is a bar in Athens that boasts having something like 500 different flavors of long island iced tea. Lit is a bar that charged me a $2.00 cover (first bad sign) for what was apparently a “wet bikini contest” that I didn’t know was happening.

I stayed in Lit for about 3 minutes. Let me describe these three minutes to you.

1. I walk in the door and head to the bar.
2. On my way to the bar, I notice that what appeared to be a group of middle school boys were sitting on a bench across from the stage.
3. I then look around and see that this bar contains about 15 people, a DJ, 2 bar tenders, and 2 door men.
4. No one was dancing. This was probably a good thing.
5. No one was dancing because they were waiting for a bikini contest to start.
6. 5 of the least appealing girls I could possibly imagine then get on stage and begin to grind on each other.
7. My friends and I then glance over the menu of drink “specials” to see that they charge about over 5 dollars* for well drinks that are smaller than average.
8. We leave as fast as we possibly can.

Wino Tips:

1. Don’t go to Lit.
2. I went to Allgood later that night. Try a Mandarin Absolut and Seltzer there, it’s quite tasty and rather cheap.

Related articles

• Athens Pub Crawl: Highwire Lounge (projectathens.com)
• Athens Pub Crawl: The Capital Room (projectathens.com)

*For those of you in larger cities where this seems like a good deal, it isn’t. That’s about how much decent, regular drinks cost at most bars I frequent.